Choices?

It is interesting how some people really think that being gay is a choice. It is interesting that people think we can grow out of it like some sort of addiction or some bad habit we could kick off. Being gay is not like going through puberty and it sometimes agitates me that the people closest to you cannot understand nor comprehend what I have been through albeit being with you through out your life.

It was just a lazy Monday afternoon in which was a public holiday and my mum and I with a few other family members went out for a late lunch. As usual, we would be chatting and the topic of an old bar counter being transferred to my house rendered me to comment that it should only be shifted into the house when I move out. From there, we started to debate about me moving out and why they think I shouldn't.

The debate went into a debacle and soon I was saying I want my own space to do what I want to do not being subjected to my family being present and there it sparked my mum's rage to say "You just want to move out so that you can do those disgusting things you do. I am giving you a few years to mature and change but don't you know what you are doing is bad and you must understand you are chinese and being the eldest son, you have responsibilities"

I can't help but wonder what has all this being the merits of me not moving out. Does she really think that one could conform into being not gay due to maturity? Is it just an issue of being childish in wanting to be subjected to the very natural sexual desires I have.

The interesting part was she said they placed so much hopes into me and that they have high expectations. But the question remains... is being gay equivalent to not having a good job, not having a normal life or rather a quality life as the chinese would demand. And what is so different about being gay? We eat the same food, go to malls and shop, wear male garments (except we have better fashion sense) and we do everything a male, and in some cases, some alpha males do. The only difference is in the inside, just the sexual desire of wanting a man, instead of a woman.

If I may put it as so, it is almost like having a PC and a Mac. No difference being both are computers but the internal hard drive and the way the software work differs. It doesn't mean that if it does not run Windows it is bad. It is all about embracing the Mac's way and you will see it is not that different after all... We still need to recharge and reboot. We can still upload and download. The only difference is that it runs on a different software (or hardware)

Things will cool down eventually but I hope my mother sees that its not about not mentioning things and the fact that we are going to keep everything under rug swept and it will remain that way. It is sad that she cannot accept this but which mother could? I envy those friends who have mother's who could accept them with open arms but as for mine, I still love her. Just takes a while for her to love me, being who I am....

And now I long to belt out I am what I am... from La Cage Aux Folles...

*********************

On a separate note, I realised too that despite my mother being so discouraging, my relationship has also been experiencing some shake ups. John (my BF, lets not call him Donnie Love anymore...He doesn't like it!) and I had a row due to me being very unreasonable on two separate occasions. I can be ultra melodramatic being the drama king (some say queen) in me. But he did the most romantic thing... it was when I walked away he grabbed me and hugged me on the main road where our lil argument had been and he didn't let me go... Yes yes, very much of the type you see in Hong Kong Tele-series where at that moment they play music that seemed like there is hope for the two main cast to reunite... well, it was about there and of course then there were some hot make up after...

I love you my Jonjon... from your wongwong...

Yes... Thats what we call ourselves... Don't be Jealous... Humphh....

...and people... Remember to stock up yeah!!!

And just after 10 months...

It has been the longest time since I have an urge to blog. To begin with, after my last post, I didn't know why I blogged and more importantly... who for? I realised at that time I was merely blogging as it was the latest gay fad in town. No doubt, I have met many wonderful friends along the journey and picked up some life lessons about people, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Today, as innocently as I received a mail on facebook that calls for the need to read a blog, I saw my blog being tagged and it has been 10 months since I last blogged. So I decided its time to pay my blog a lil visit. How I laughed at all that I have written in a short span of a year. Most of it were just me ranting about how pathetic life has treated me but looking back, my last 10 months were just amazing.

Well, for one, I did what I have always wanted to do. I performed in a musical. One called Kaki Blue. Not so blue, or perhaps pretty blue, it was a musical about National Service and the best part, I got to play one of the lead role. It was exhilarating and I loved every moment of it. And around the same time, I met Donnie. Thats a pseudonym of course yet, I was told someone used to call him "Donnie Darling" which is much to my distaste. And it has lasted a beautiful 7 months this coming friday.

And of course life goes on, American Idol again and Exams yet again but I have just realised that things did change a little. I didn't grow any taller and still none the wiser but I think I have learned about myself a little bit more, to love my life a little bit more and perhaps a lil more mature than I used to be. And that is all for now...

You Wanna Talk About Consumerism With Me Bitch?

The last few days were nothing but busy for me as I unwillingly worked past the three gruelling days at the travel fair. Working at such fairs, you get to see people of all shapes and sizes, you see the cute and the very uncute guys as well as a budding trend of sugar daddies and also very gay/bi boyfriends who brought their very blur girlfriends... However, all of them have one thing in common. Since the standard of expectation by travellers from Malaysia are demandingly high and with most of them unwilling to pay even an extra single ringgit (not even dollar), there is only one word to describe them... CHEAP!

In the midst of all the visitors, we find an alarming growth of people who, are capable of displaying disturbing behaviour during the purchase...

Specimen 1.
Stats: good looking, 6 foot guy with braces. Brought extremely ugly girlfriend (Yes, I exaggerated but if I were straight I wouldn't have dated her as well!)

S1: How mush is the price to Taipei?
Eve (Our staff): RMXXX
S1: How come this price? Can reduce?
Eve: Its promo price (such a dimwit)
S1:Ok I cum bek!

(Moments later)

S1: How much to Taipei?
Amie (Another staff): RMXXY
S1:Why different?
Just now is RMXXX now RM XXY?

(argue, argue, argue.... Until aunt came to handle him)

S1: How come prices are so different? You quote me twice and different price?
Aunt: No... The taxes for air tickets fluctuate based on currency... Eve quoted you based on yesterday's tax price while Amie checked the most recent...

(Then made big hoo-haa about us not being professional and all...)

A: We all make mistakes, we can't be going round updating it every moment of the day now can we? It is stated that airport taxes are subjected to change. When we issue the ticket is when we can give you the actual price to pay. The ticket fare however remains the same.
S1: No la... I think you all are cheaters...

(sheepishly he asks...)

S1: So is it because of colour?
Aunt: Sir, are you discriminating? (This dimwit is Chinese and so are all who is involved)
S1: Nola, just joking (at this point GF is glaring at him...)
Aunt: But I like it, you see, we all make mistakes... We are not perfect, we try to make up for our inadequacy but at the end, we just wanna have a chance to change things and make it right. We quoted you one price but we always rectify when we check with the system. At the fair with the crowd asking at random, we must find a quick way of disseminating information. You will get the actual price at the end when you place a booking...
(Shied into his seat)

Oh, and you wanna know how much the difference between RMXXX and RMXXY?

RM3.00

Specimen 2
Stats: Mid 40s. Woman. Ugly as hell and has the worst hairstyle! Brought son (I damn kesian him for having this mother

S2: Ok. Now i want to book. (All the tickets are booked and as I was about to collect payment from her...) eh, I wanna see your terms and conditions first! (Reads the terms...Crazy? I don't think crazy fits but manic... probably)

She finally paid but
S2: I wanna see your credit card machine! (WTF? You think I have some gadget to cheat her off her money is it
After the transaction
S2: Got free gift?
Me: Yes, you can visit the tourism board of XXX to collect your free travel bag.

5 Minutes later...

S2: No more bags... They ran out of stock... (And what you want me to do?)
Me: Sorry, but we can't do anything
S2: Your company give me travel bag la...
Me: Our company don't give out travel bags. If you are not satisfied, you can complain to the tourism board.
S2: But I bought the tour from you... you must give me...Its not fair... (What you thinking woman...)
Me: But it is while stocks last madam.
S2: I want to cancel. I don't want to go.
Me: All for the fact that there is no free gift?
S2: You cheated me.
Me: (Pissed and damn stern) Please watch what you are saying here. I didn't cheat you. The bags ran out and this applies to everyone who bought a tour to XXX. You came here to buy a tour... (Not to get free gift!)
(Son pulls her off and apologised...)

At 9pm, she called me on my cell...
S2: I want to cancel my tour. I want my money back.
Me: Can. But your deposit will be forfeited.
S2: How can... I didn't travel and it's only a few hours (She thinks got time limit to cancel)
Me: Once I made your booking, the airlines receives it and would block your seat already. Once they confirmed your seat just now, they will charge no matter what.
S2: I call the Consumer court, they say can...
Me: Trust me Madam, we have so many cases there and most of it, we won, stop wasting time.
S2: How can... I don't care... I don't want to travel.
Me: But when you made your booking, you even read the terms and conditions and signed the form...
S2: I don't wanna argue anymore...

Such a bitch I tell you... These people are those who are making this business to be so "Cheap"!

Huh... Can't wait till the day I don't have to help out anymore... Argghhhh....

If I Was a Superstar...

Yeah yeah... Who said it's original but I did it anyway!

To bring to life what might have become if I was in a rock band (Hahaha...) all you have to do is...
1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop, GIMP, Inkscape, or similar to put it all together.

And viola...

Columbia Hills presents... "Vigorous Writing is Concise"

Will it go platinum?

And the Top 12... Opps13 is...

With a lil twist towards the end, we now have 13 contestants for the very first time on American Idol! The lucky 4 who made it pass Wildcard was Jasmine, Matt, Megan and Anoop. I wanted Ricky and/or Jesse instead of Jasmine but pahh...she wont last.

American Idol... Lack of Talent or Lack of Spark?

I have been a fan of American Idol since Starworld brought it in when it launched Season 3 and Is wore to myself I would join it (someday) but the selection of talent this year, as compared to the last has mellowed down. We don't see the fierce competition like last year and talents from the semifinals are picking the wrong songs all the time to the point where it is so easy to guess as to who will secure the 3 spots into the finals each week.

I cannot deny some of them are really talented but unlike Season 7, you could even recall someone from semifinals... (yes, he has tight pants...) but the thing is, I don't only watch out for talents, I also check out the cuties and yes, one has already gotten into the finals. I must add however, the good looking boys have all evaded the competition this year. None has Michael Johns charm nor David Archuleta's cutie pie look... Performance wise, no one has moments in the competition like Latoya London or Clay Aiken or even David Archuleta (Yes, I still hearts him)

However, I was glad that the judges picked a really talented bunch of guys and gals for the wildcard show and I hope they pull through!

Presenting the wildcards...

Jesse Langseth (Love her reindition of Bette Davis Eyes and her bluesy voice)

Jasmine Murray

Anoop Desai

Ricky Braddy (So cute and he likes tight pants...yummy)

Tatiane Nicole Del Toro (Drama Mama)

Von Smith (He sings a bit like me you know?...Hahahahaha)

Megan Joy Corkrey (Love her)

Matt Giraud (Hope he gets in cos he has a really blue voice that I like!)

I really hope Matt, Megan and Ricky gets it cos I really think they make great competition... ok Ricky (Cos I have a week or two more to lust over him) but I think Anoop and Jesse are really great talents too... while Von, I might think he makes a good finalist too!

And the finalists thus far...

Alexis Grace

Danny Gokey

Michael Sarver

Kris Allen

Allison Iraheta

Adam Lambert (Love this guy... great voice, kinda cute and from "Wicked")

Lil Rounds (What a name?)

Jorge Nuñez

Scott MacIntyre

The Curious Case of Going For Benjamin Button Alone!

Yes, sad I know but what can I do on a weekday, it is not like everyone is as free as I am.
I have wanted to watch it since it came out but never gotten the chance so as I recalled and decided to watch it today, I asked a few close friends but none seemed to be able to go or they have watched it so I picked up my beans and went for it. (Though it must be noted that this is not my first time watching a movie alone so no biggie...sobs...sobs...)

So I ended up in cinema 17 alone with popcorn on one hand and a cup of coke in the other, strolling in alone while other movie goers stared attentively.(I believe some are whispering "eh not bad looking but why come alone one?") But who cares, I came for one person, Benjamin (Yeah right! Brad bitch)


The movie as expected was a fairly good movie and it jerked a few teardrops out of me (not like the lady behind me who had her pipes turned on full blast!) but I love the story that tells you that life is a journey with two ends, and what does it matter which end does it start from because our lives would peak at the same time but when it ends, we end up in diapers anyway, as Cate Blanchett says. I felt inspired each time I watch movies like that. they teach you that love is unconditional. Love is unselfish and love can be unending... But lets not get all mushy here...


I am particularly impressed with the make-up (no wonder the Academy Award for that) where Brad looks really old and even Tilda Swinton who played Elizabeth Abbott, her make up looks pretty convincing not to mention Cate Blanchett's ultra superb make up when she was putting on her clothes when she met Brad again when she had a teenage daughter.


Favourite scene? Must be the part when Brad looked into the mirror and told Cate he wants to remember how they looked liek together... How hopelessly romantic I am right? I know...

Though it got a lil draggy in parts but when Brad turned into the dashing 40+ man, gosh, I think everyone must have gotten a hard-on seeing how delish he could still be!

He is supposed to be mine bitch!

Oh and before I forget...

... Goodnight Brad

...Goodnight People!!!