Wedding Bliss

I adore weddings. I love the fact that unions are formed on the fact that you found that special someone in the midst of the millions of people you meet.



I attended a wedding dinner last night, it is arguably the very first union formed in the choir. It is only natural the night is filled with music and a lot of singing and the mention of the name YKLS. What I love the most is the fact that the bride and groom were surrounded by friends and family appreciating one another. The couple presented their parents and grandparents, a plaque that reads, in Chinese, that signifies family unity. I found that a great gesture of appreciation.

The best part of all is the fact that the friends poured in effort to celebrate their union. It struck me out of a sudden... When I get married, will I be celebrated in this manner? Lets not think about the technical side of it all. But how many friends will surround me? I question...

But I suppose that is left to be seen...

Anyway, for party favours, each one of us gets a personal CD filled with lovely romantic songs including a song written and sung by the groom himself. Thats not all, the CD has your name printed on the cover. I find this one of the best favours...

So are you gay?

Come on!
Its not rare that we all get this question.
Not only do we get the gaydar but many straight women do too...
These straight people would hide in corners, putting forth charts and will go into deep discussion about who is gay and all.
So I was posed this question many time before and i have learned the skill to brush it off, even when it comes to the point I was asked again...

Tam: Eh, so are you gay?
G-log: Waht you think?
Tam: I dunno, thats why I ask you mah!
G-log: Hmmm....

(Diverts to something then a few minutes later...)

Tam: So you haven't tell me, are you gay?
G-log: Well, do I look that obvious to you?
Tam: A little lor, but not like ^%$^$ who is constantly like that hor and....

See? I didn't answer the question at all!
But when I was posed with it, to certain people I am close with, I actually answer them truthfully but along the journey I have experienced being hurt with homofobics as well. they ewwwed and hated me for it.. I was told that I am stupid for letting some of them know what lies behind my veil. So I decided that not everyone has the privilege to know about it.

And I even had fun with friends who would be cool that I am gay and we would be talking about which gal is hot whoich would divert into a conversation of which guy is hot. for a moment there, it made me felt like I was in one of those guy talks that, I realised, I never had with my straight friends. So what am I saying here? I dunno, I guess that there are all these people who would make fun of way, while some encouraging and yes, some who are blatantly out to get you, it just makes the world round and for us to now put on some scanners instead of looking at the world in rose tinted glasses...

I Am What I Am

Lately, I have been listening to a few more of John Barrowman tunes.
One coming from the musical La Cage aux Folles, it is a song sung by the male lead about him being gay to his own son...
I find it simply empowering...
And in light with some of us who are coming out, ready to come out, reluctantly pulled out...
Here is for all of us...

I am what I am

I am my own special creation.

So come take a look,

Give me the hook or the ovation.

It's my world that I want to have a little pride in,

My world, and it's not a place I have to hide in.

Life's not worth a damn,

'Til you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am."

I am what I am,

I don't need praise,

I don't need pity.

I bang my own drum,

Some think it's noise,

I think it's pretty.

And so what, if I love each feather and each spangle,

Why not try to see things from a diff'rent angle?

Your life is a sham

'til you can shout out loud

I am what I am!

I am what I am

And what I am needs no excuses.

I deal my own deck

Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces.

There's one life,

and there's no return and no deposit;

One life,

so it's time to open up your closet.

Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say,

"Hey world, I am what I am!"

John Barrowman...

John Barrowman is his name... I love this guy... His voice is so pure...

Watch the video and check the couples out!

I first spotted him in the musical "The Producers" playing the lead tenor in the show singing "Springtime For Hitler".
He was so charming and later, lo and behold, I find him to be gay!
He has this real cute partner, Scott Gill and they look extremely cute together!

One of my other favourite videos of him was him singing Maria from West Side Story!

Any More?

What is there to a gay life?
We go to bars and hang out with guys, we sleep around, some say we blog it out and form a "brotherhood", we make friends... and some enemy's along the way... we gossip, we talk behind backs... we lust then we make decsions that are burdens us with the blurry future...
What is there to a gay life?

Sorry if I may sound to melancholic. The truth hit me today when I suddenly have my grandpa wishing my mum happy birthday and saying that she will turn into a granny soon... Being the eldest and the most eligible to be married at the moment... though it is not time at all... I sometimes wonder if I am gay at all?

I ponder at the fact that I am not able to so call "let my family down" but hey, what do I want? I have no faith in the fact that someone would pick me out of the bunch to be his one and only. I have so given up on love as such hope are distant in that heart of mine...

And I ponder, will I someday wake up when I am 50 and look at my miserable life and question the choices I have made? Would I be one of those guys who would seek for affection of younger men to fulfill my loneliness...

Question unanswered swirled round and pass me by but what am I to do... What will I be?
Perhaps all I have now is Cea Sera Sera, What will be, will indeed be...