Friday, February 5, 2010

Monogamy Sucks

It does... doesn't it?

As many may (or may not) agree, gay relationships are like the special Olympics. You have a different set of rules, different game players and the standards are lowered and you are left with a penumbra, a void in which have a few loose ends that gives you room for your personal discretion.

Stepping into our 7 month relationship, I wonder if we and John are cut out to be the golden couple. Dating someone who is a lil more mature and has financial stability (the sort where even your folks can't compete), good looks and charm that gets all the Asian boys falling from trees, it is tough not to have your fingers gripping when you are not around him.

Just the other day, we went for a stroll in KLCC and he decided to go into Body Shop and lo and behold, stood Jojo, an all chinese boy with the typical 'I-have-an-ass-for-you' smile and his hungry (bottom) eyes, putting out the strong vibe at John. John, of course, just kept it cool but as we left the place, he turned back and gleamed when he realised the guy looked at him longingly... Later, we went into Hugo Boss and yes, his lil old tart, some guy he once fancied was there and as usual tried to sell him something. Friends told me he was merely selling him an item for the commision but come on, you can tell he was not only aiming for his back pocket but in the meantime hit the zipper as well right?

Don't get me wrong. I am not placing the blame on him. John has been the sweetest boyfried and I sincerely believe that he is not one of 'those' guys who would opt for an open relationship but the question lies on the fact whether are all men, just men? Are all men subjected to their raging testosterone that incapacitates them to hold it in? And the pressing question is...are all men born to be unable to stay monogamous? Monogamy... is it worth the holding in?

I am not changing my views that I want to have a monogamous relationship but in a gay relationship, being monogamous is a challenge in itself. Society has termed it to a sense where straight = monogamous and gay=polygamy. It is not unheard of the term open relationship but do such relationships really do exist? It is a struggle to keep sane at times wondering if a temptress (or in our context a tempter-ess) would one day stroll into our lives and separate us. However, isn't that the same as well for straight couples? Don't we all at the end of the day struggle the same thing?

For me, after John and I talked about it, we did come to a conclusion that relationships are built on trust. Easier said than done, trust encompasses faith, which in the bible did describe as 'believing in something you don't see' but I have to add in the fact too that faith IS believing in something we DO see. We see it in the acts and conducts but the tough part is in the absence of something that we can use as collateral to trust, we lose faith. So trust... to have faith or not, that is the question?

I am faithful!!!

Or am I not?


Takashi said...

i m not sure.. the more i think of it, the more i believe mono doesnt exist in gay r/ship..

i dont know.. maybe its just me breaking up..

but i think i am slut..

Alex said...

I guess the mode of relationship really depends on the people in the relationship.... there are no right or wrong, but what's most acceptable to all parties. If you can't take open relationship, say no. Make things clear.

Little Dove said...

Have some confidence in yourself and some trust in John. And always keep the line of communication open. :)

aaronng88 said...

=) i always believe in monogamous rshp only. and if the bf cant handle being faithful to u.. perhaps he's not the one. but if he's just flirting for fun, and he knows whr to draw the line.. i think that tks trust =)

Evann said...

Monogamy... Hmm, that's one pretty darn scary word. Intimidates me much.

Medie007 said...

not many survives it.

@murn@ said...

Takashi: True, they don't really exist in most relationships but I believe they are alla bout how much you want to achieve it.

Alex: Yeah, relationships and communication... Me and John are still learning to do that.

Lil Dove: John was nodding in front of me giving the "I told you so" look!

Aaron: My thoughts people do think alike...Hehehe

Evann: Scary? Why?

Bong: Will you survive it?

aaronng88 said...

*high 5* hahaha here's to smart ppl =p

savante said...

Whether or not it's an open relationship should be a discussion between the both of you. Even if you do decide on an open relationships, boundaries have to be set.