Into the West

I somehow feel afresh after a good nights rest. My previous nights have been filled with little rest and much of Lord of The Rings since the week started. The Young KL Singers debuted on one of Malaysia's most prestigious platform, along with the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra in A lovely hall in KLCC...

It was a great experience since not any Tom, Dick and Harry (unless you are Harry Connick Jr) who can carry a tune or two is allowed to stand on that stage and performed. Twas a lovely opportunity yet the musical score is one i have never encountered with countless transitions that got me counting on my very toes. Yet, as mum says, I have been complaining over and over this performance, ranting and squealing at the same time, I loved this performance. it brings out the better man in me as now I have seen more and learned more...

Enough of that sappy stuff... I am not going all philosophical and sentimental over my last days with the choir...

We have to now start on the topic of cute guys in the orchestra...
3 caught my eyes though there are more, i have to just talk about 3...

A violinist, a trumpeter and a percussionist...

All so cute yet, I found out that the violinist has a girlfriend since his violin case has a picture of a gurl...

Later, I saw the trumpeter's left hand shimmering and lo and behold, a band of gold on his fourth finger...

Lastly, my favourite, the only guy who wished me good morning on the first day I stepped into the hall, the percussionist who looked all so my type... Yet, he is, according to some hopefully unreliable sources, to be straight as well...
sobs...

And that triggered my PMSes again as I kinda feel a surge of loneliness... Seeing Aaron having a new gf is not helping with him texting her every moment of the day...
I suppose I am longing for my void to be filled...
and is wondering when his endless plea for a man would end...

ahhh... for those who couldn't make it for the performance though...
here is a song dedicated to you guys...

Lay down,
your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
You have come to journey’s end.

Sleep now, and dream
of the ones who came before.
They are calling,
from across a distant shore.

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see.
All of your fears will pass away.
Safe in my arms,
you’re only sleeping.

What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.

And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
All souls pass.

Hope fades,
Into the world of night.
Through shadows falling,
Out of memory and time.

Don’t say,
We have come now to the end.
White shores are calling.
You and I will meet again.
And you’ll be here in my arms,
Just sleeping.

What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.

And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
Grey ships pass
Into the West.

A crush on me?

Goodness...
This is such an adorable scene...

So there I was online and on Facebook when this guy whom I am not really close with suddenly added me on MSN. So we exchanged a few hellos and stuffs like that. Then he asked if I was gay and I didn't really want to come out yet as I really wanna know which culprit in our social circle told him.

Alas, I found out and So we journeyed in talking about the gay guys we know of and out of a sudden he told me I was cute... and I went... HHHhhhhmmmm.....

OK... That's odd and later he told me he liked me and I was like... Ermm.....
Mind you, I love being liked and all but I am talking about a boy who is 17 years old only. He is about to be sent to NS and I was like so flattered yet unsure where this is going...

Of course being the realistic me. I know this is so not my thing as I am in want of someone to watch over me, not me watching over him and all... He is still very much a kid to me and he was the sweetest kid in telling me things I longed to hear such a long time but from someone who just passed the age of being a minor, I have to really digest this...

Later, I found out that he has a crush on me since the first time he saw me, which was January early this year. I thought a crush is something he can forget very quickly but he said he couldn't and that he liked me still. I was getting a lil freaked out. The fact that i actually talked to him a few weeks ago made him a lil jumpy and that explain why he was blushing that day....

Gosh...
such a dilemma...
such a young kid...
such a tender heart...
such a bad me...

The L Word

Lethargic? Lazy?

I have no idea but these days blogging is not on my priority list any longer as I am not sure what good it is to blog anymore. Initially it was because Joery got me into this so called "healthy" way of getting to know people who share my predicament. However, blogging has gotten me into more trouble and a lil bit more tears than expected yet, I must agree I met some lovely people and I see people online as being nothing more than human, filled with err and emotions.

I do question actually who reads my blog. I read a few when I get online and they are often filled with comments, mostly by their friends and fans alike and I must say, bloggers take time to fill their blogs with interesting posts and pictures.

Then it comes to my blog. One that is a pretty stagnant one, one that doesn't seem to be a crowd magnet and seemed to be mostly visited by yours truly.

So why do I blog again?

Don't get me wrong. This is not a pathetic plea for attention but I do wonder why I am doing this. Is it for people to get to know me? An avenue to brag? Or just because I am lifeless that I spare more time on the PC?

I really need to find a purpose in Glog...

Wedding Bliss

I adore weddings. I love the fact that unions are formed on the fact that you found that special someone in the midst of the millions of people you meet.



I attended a wedding dinner last night, it is arguably the very first union formed in the choir. It is only natural the night is filled with music and a lot of singing and the mention of the name YKLS. What I love the most is the fact that the bride and groom were surrounded by friends and family appreciating one another. The couple presented their parents and grandparents, a plaque that reads, in Chinese, that signifies family unity. I found that a great gesture of appreciation.

The best part of all is the fact that the friends poured in effort to celebrate their union. It struck me out of a sudden... When I get married, will I be celebrated in this manner? Lets not think about the technical side of it all. But how many friends will surround me? I question...

But I suppose that is left to be seen...

Anyway, for party favours, each one of us gets a personal CD filled with lovely romantic songs including a song written and sung by the groom himself. Thats not all, the CD has your name printed on the cover. I find this one of the best favours...

So are you gay?

Come on!
Its not rare that we all get this question.
Not only do we get the gaydar but many straight women do too...
These straight people would hide in corners, putting forth charts and will go into deep discussion about who is gay and all.
So I was posed this question many time before and i have learned the skill to brush it off, even when it comes to the point I was asked again...

Tam: Eh, so are you gay?
G-log: Waht you think?
Tam: I dunno, thats why I ask you mah!
G-log: Hmmm....

(Diverts to something then a few minutes later...)

Tam: So you haven't tell me, are you gay?
G-log: Well, do I look that obvious to you?
Tam: A little lor, but not like ^%$^$ who is constantly like that hor and....

See? I didn't answer the question at all!
But when I was posed with it, to certain people I am close with, I actually answer them truthfully but along the journey I have experienced being hurt with homofobics as well. they ewwwed and hated me for it.. I was told that I am stupid for letting some of them know what lies behind my veil. So I decided that not everyone has the privilege to know about it.

And I even had fun with friends who would be cool that I am gay and we would be talking about which gal is hot whoich would divert into a conversation of which guy is hot. for a moment there, it made me felt like I was in one of those guy talks that, I realised, I never had with my straight friends. So what am I saying here? I dunno, I guess that there are all these people who would make fun of way, while some encouraging and yes, some who are blatantly out to get you, it just makes the world round and for us to now put on some scanners instead of looking at the world in rose tinted glasses...

I Am What I Am

Lately, I have been listening to a few more of John Barrowman tunes.
One coming from the musical La Cage aux Folles, it is a song sung by the male lead about him being gay to his own son...
I find it simply empowering...
And in light with some of us who are coming out, ready to come out, reluctantly pulled out...
Here is for all of us...

I am what I am

I am my own special creation.

So come take a look,

Give me the hook or the ovation.

It's my world that I want to have a little pride in,

My world, and it's not a place I have to hide in.

Life's not worth a damn,

'Til you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am."

I am what I am,

I don't need praise,

I don't need pity.

I bang my own drum,

Some think it's noise,

I think it's pretty.

And so what, if I love each feather and each spangle,

Why not try to see things from a diff'rent angle?

Your life is a sham

'til you can shout out loud

I am what I am!

I am what I am

And what I am needs no excuses.

I deal my own deck

Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces.

There's one life,

and there's no return and no deposit;

One life,

so it's time to open up your closet.

Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say,

"Hey world, I am what I am!"

John Barrowman...

John Barrowman is his name... I love this guy... His voice is so pure...

Watch the video and check the couples out!

I first spotted him in the musical "The Producers" playing the lead tenor in the show singing "Springtime For Hitler".
He was so charming and later, lo and behold, I find him to be gay!
He has this real cute partner, Scott Gill and they look extremely cute together!

One of my other favourite videos of him was him singing Maria from West Side Story!