Confessions...

It’s been so long since I blogged and its all thanks to the mouse in my house...
My dad who is computer not-so-literate tried to create a commotion when it doesn't work blaming it on us and now, after him banging the mouse several times (as if it would work) is now resting in peace.

Hence, like so handicapped guy, my computer's cursor is now manoeuvred with the help of the numerical keypad. Hence, logging on to do anything is still a hassle yet but I wouldn't want to damage my already infected computer...

Somehow, I think I am starting to hate my dad and everyone around me. I build this wall of defensive-ness around me like "I don't give a damn" kinda thing. It is so not me but is that the way I should be?

Confused, I really don't get what I am going through. I used to be the jovial, people pleasing guy who puts a smile on everyone's face but now, I am just bitter...

I hate to sound melancholic but I can't help going through these emotions (like I am having PMS...) Can emo out of a sudden which is so not necessary cos it just makes my day so unworthy to keep going on for...

I really need a new perspective in life but what can I do?
Yes, I am in a melancholic mood today...

Wreck of the Day...

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light's always red in the rear-view
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus
'Cuz love doesnt hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces
And if this is giving up then I'm giving up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
All my resistance will never be distance enough
Ohhh... mmm...

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

A sense of B-lo(n)g-ing

Well, I am kinda into the whole blogging thing and now, I am even doing this in college on one of the public computers...
Gosh, I hope no one gets linked to the site...

Well, I was just chatting with a friend of mine yesterday about how life turned out to be so amusing. First I was introduced to this whole new "activity" of ghey blogging by Joery, whom actually don't really talk to me after atear knowing him. And like the tsunami, once we chat, I got sucked into a vortex of new friends, possibilities and lifestlye...

I used to be the desperado visiting several sites ( I bet some of you are frequent users of) just to get to know guys and hopeful in the midst of everyone, find Mr Prince Charming but as reality turns out to be, I will never get to find him... Not with a face like mine that cost no more than 10 cents...

Hence it is only natural that I got to know guys who are in for the jackpot. And sooner or later, intimacy turns out to be a past time, while I still aimless search for Mr Right. Site hoping and meeting ups, hook ups, (whatever side up) were really all I could think of. Friends, ghey friends? Nah I know none and picked up none along the way as well... Depression hangs like a lamp post over my head every night, wishing I don't end up like some whore with STD(s) and living in a house all alone with 27 cats... How tragic, how sluttish, how unworthy...

It was then when Joery came and picked me up, throw me into this other side, where sex seems to matter less but just be as gay (both literal and liguistically), that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Now, I just look forward to post more, get to know more about my fellow bloggers and just have the simple intention of getting to know friends...which I just realised I lacked so badly...

My serach for MR Right is now docked at bay... For the moment...

As for Joery, saying that you are my saviour is an overstatement but thanks for picking me up!
And the others along the way, its my pleasure getting to know you!

Dresses...

Gosh its barely 5 post and I felt like I am running out of ideas...
Really wanna keep the momentum running but unfortunately I am like one of those "hangat-hangat tahi ayam" (got into the whole peribahasa mode since my brother need help with his homework yesterday)

But something fun happened last night...
I am forever fond kacau-ing my sister. She just told me about a guy in her college, lets call him Marky, who is going after her. And she just started classes like 3 weeks. Never knew that tom boy auntie can be so hot among the guys, which then explain my good looks but lets not even go there.

So she was telling me about a ball she will be attending. There it goes, my mum being uber conservative telling her to go in jeans and what girls at 16 should wear (she is 18 next month for god sakes mum). And I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO....

Suddenly as though Carson from Queer Eye possessed me I went on telling her about everything she should do except getting laid. (No touchie) I went from the dress, the make up, the hair, the shoes, the handbag etc etc...

It got my mum agitated (she apparently doesn't want my sister to get dolled up. Worried about the unwanted attention) as well as my sis. Gosh... she then tried a dress my aunt got from Salabianca. She looks pretty in it but she was loathing as she is the one gurl that hates to be dressed up and I mean it literally like "DRESS" up.

When we got home, I went into her wardrobe and it was fun seeing the dresses she had and I told her to mix and match and how to wear this and that. Out of a sudden she was like "Why are you so gay one? and why are you talking like Jay Manuel?"

Oppsss... She is still clueless about my sexuality... And she has this conservative way of thinking about gays adding up to our family being Christians (for those who are clueless, its a No-No for a christian boy to be gay according to Leviticus 18)...

Things I deal with at home...

Vacancy!

Position: Heart Filler

Job Scope:

1. Kisses in the morning.
2. Phone calls in the middle of the night. (that doesn't mean none at all during the day
3. Availability to bring me out whenever I want. (I have strict, dictators back home)
4. Intimate moments dining at Alexis. (Venue can vary)
5. Birthday cake on my birthday. (Its coming soon)
6. Occasional Sugar Daddy (Spoil Me!)
7. Bring lunch to my door step (Not McDonald's! I predict I would die of Arteriosclerosis before I reach 30)
8. Feed me when I get hungry...
9. Kiss me more...
10. Whack my ass whenever I wash your dishes (I loved the whole Housewife scene)
11. Suck up to all my whining. (Bla.. Bla.. Bla)
12. Tease me but don't patronise me.
13. Hug me all the time.
14. Bring me jalan-jalan (But I don't need a leesh)
15. Dry my tears when I cry.(Please use tissue, preferably, not toilet tissue)
16. Nudge me on msn whenever you see me...
17. Help me plan my days (I can't plan anything to save my life)
18. Spend endless night in bed (Do what? Play one two Juz lor)
19. Stare into my eyes and make me blush... (Shy di...)
20. If you can do only few or none of the above...

Love me with all your heart... Oh and you have to surrender yours to me for keeps!

Any takers?

Sorry, just woke up from one of my dreams again...

Thaipusam...

Wohoo...

A holiday, and I bet it is a well deserved one for all my Indian friends...

Selamat Hari Thaipusam

So, mum actually asked us to clean the house for Chinese New Year today but my bro and sis as well as I whipped out or text books and filled the dining table with books galore... (As if we were that hardworking!!!) and we skipped all the work needed to be done...

But all the time, my mind is running with all those crazy ideas of writting the next topic for my new blog before the song "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat is playing...it reminds me of Joshie... a guy I kinda like...

I have this weird thing going on in me...

Its like I could almost love the guy I just chatted with for life...

Weird I know but its so me...I call this the desperado syndrome. So I rethink about the guys that I used to like very much but we never end up together and each one has a song!

Peter Gabriels "In your Eyes" (super damn nice song) is for Timmy.

Simpson's Spider Pig for... gosh ... I forgoten his name...

Bubbly for Joshy.

Lets get into details shall we?

1. Timmy is from Houston, Texas.

Its almost impossible for us to like one another but we did and he asked me to listen to this song.... I liked it and liked him more but we stopped contacting one another, due to studies and him, work... But I managed to chat with him last night and it was like old time though he is seeing someone else now, and yes, in Texas... He was my first internet fling boy...

2. The Philipino guy whom I have totally forgoten his name!

Well, we met 2 times in KLCC, ok lets call em dates, and we had a great time but he has this thing of "ut of the blue, i will stop calling you" thing... Bad karma la I suppose....

3.Joshie.

Hmmm... We flirted a lot but well, he is seeing someone else... So I think you know the ending...

I just finish chatting with Ewan. He is from the UK but chemistry is almost instant... O is it just me? Well, I think I would love keeping him as a friend but I think for this crush, I will have Aretha Franklin's Till You Come Back To Me as his theme...

Till you come back to me, thats what I'm gonna do!!!

My Quest for Prince Charming: Part 1; The Search

The most wonderful thing in the world is to love...

... and be loved in return!

Christian; Moulin Rouge

If i may say, that should be the best-est quote I have ever read. Moulin Rouge has been one of the best movie written, a mixture of love, lust and music (me likey). And with the words above, I have to conclude that that has been my life's drive. Every morning I wake up and go straight into the bathroom (cos I love waking up late and have my mum hustle me so that she isn't late as well... hence I brush my teeth in the bathroom!!! Eeeeewww...) and as the shower washed me off the dreams (and nightmares), I would hope that today will be the day I find my one, true love...

Ok Ok... Drama all over... No wonder they call me the Drama Queen... King... Whatever...

Its kinda hard to put down in words how you wish that someone to be... I tried hard enough I suppose, yes, I don't visit the gay bars often, heck, I have never even been to one except LQ in the broad daylight!

All this lil boy here has ever done is to visit site after site, yes we are now talking about gay sites, and try my best to filter through the massive amount of gay guys there seeking for either sex, sex or sex?

Face it. I am never gonna find anyone there. But I found a whole lot of interesting guys.

Here are glimpse of what I have found...

Ed: Me!

GG: Gay guy

Scene 1

Ed: Hey there!

GG: Hi

Ed: How are you?

GG: Fine... urself?

Ed: Good.

GG: What you seeking? (Tak boleh tahan your eng-ge-lau-sau ie. english)

Ed: Well... friends or more... you?

GG: Fun. You t/b? Wanna have some fun? My place?

(pengsan... not even 5 mins)

Scene 2

Ed: Hey there...

GG: Harlo (typical china- apek)

Ed: How are you?

GG: Fine.

Ed: so what brings you here?

GG: You.

Ed: Me?

GG: Yes, tonight, 7 pm, my place...

Scene 3

(As observed above, after a few "must say lines" shall be substituted to "...")

...

Ed: So are you single?

GG: Single but attached

Ed: HAR????

Scene 4

...

GG: I got gay DVDs, want to buy?

Scene 5
...

GG: You like to suck?

Scene 6

...

GG: I think I have just found a reason to come to KL now... I wanna see you

(This guy is 56!)

Gosh... I have been surrounded by sex freaks... Is this how the world operates now? Only driven by orgasm? Where is love? Where is infactuation? Where has MAKING LOVE" gone to?

Haish... Maybe someday, I will find my Prince Charming...

Inception!

Call me a fake whore, call me a copy cat slut but I think this is what we call...

Inspiration...

After reading two and half pages of Joery's blog, I felt an urge... Strong urge to start blogging my own site that talks not only my feelings but my struggles, the cute guys and the horrid ones, the blissful moment of truth and the not so fun part in our entire orgasmic confusion...

True enough...

I just need an outlet and I almost forgot about my first love to blogging, where I can anonymously write about all I think, I feel and what I moan about?

Yes, just a spot to emancipate and to be heard...

So here it is, the birth of...

G-log...

Be G-logerific....